Avoid these 2 issues when raising your children after divorce

Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada LLP

There are plenty of issues that children may have as they go through divorce. They may struggle with their parents not loving each other anymore. They may have a hard time living in a new home or going to a new school. At the end of the day, parents have their hands full while they try to guide their children through all the changes that are happening because of their divorce case.

It’s helpful for parents to know which issues to look for, so they can be supportive of their children. Here are two big things you should watch out for as you are raising your child following divorce.

1. Some kids want to fill the gap

This is an issue that can result in co-dependency long after your child needs to be dependent on you. Children may see that you’re sad or lonely and avoid going out with friends or leaving home in hopes of being able to “fill the void.” There’s no secret that you love your child, but they should not be responsible for your mental health, happiness or well-being, especially at such a young age.

2. Children may want to identify with the parent of the same sex

This can happen, and it’s important to note who your child is identifying with. For example, if your daughter is identifying with her mother, you wouldn’t want to say bad things about her mother. Why? It hurts her development because it’s normal for children to mirror the same-sex parent as they learn and grow.

These two issues are significant and should be addressed by you and your ex-spouse as they arise. Be respectful of one another and make sure your children are enjoying their childhoods; they will have an easier time coping with your support.

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