Shield your child from conflict to prevent long-term trauma

Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada LLP

You and your spouse don’t get along, and you’re divorcing. The problem is that your custody case is becoming more conflicted and complex every day. Your spouse is fighting to keep your children from you, and you’re fighting back. You’re both building up animosity against one another, and it’s a very frustrating situation to deal with.

A high-conflict divorce and custody battle can lead to problems between you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse, but you should also know that this kind of conflict can weigh heavily on children. If they see continuous conflict and repeated disputes, they may suffer from anxiety, depression and other ill effects.

What should you do to minimize the damage to your child as you go through a high-conflict divorce?

One of the best thing you can do is to work with an attorney who can help you find ways to resolve conflicts. Whether that means that you try arbitration and mediation or that you go to trial, you want to know that you have someone on your side who knows the rules and the right way to present yourself in court.

Another thing to do is to make sure your children are sheltered from high-conflict situations and arguments. Kids don’t need to know that you and their other parent are fighting over them. They don’t need to be caught in the middle.

Children may have a hard time coping, which is why it’s a good idea to discuss signing them up with a therapist for a while. You may also benefit from this, even if you choose to do sessions on your own or as a family.

No one truly comes out of a divorce unscathed, but by being conscious of the decisions you make and by avoiding conflict around your child, you can work to minimize the trauma that they go through.

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