Children and divorce: Not adjusting? It could be your behavior

Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada LLP

Kids sometimes have a difficult time adjusting to life after a divorce. However, when they do, it often has something to do with the way their parents have handled themselves or how they are acting toward the other parent now.

Yes, there are a number of things that could bother a child about the divorce, but switching homes or changing schools is secondary to the psychological impact that speaking badly about one of their parents can have. If you and their other parent fight, argue or have an ongoing conflict, then you could be adding to your child’s sense of confusion or anger.

What can you do to help your child adjust to life after divorce?

If your child is having a hard time adjusting to life following your divorce, start by looking at how you’re acting. Are you depressed, frustrated or angry? Try to work through those emotions, and make sure your child is getting a chance to speak out about theirs, too. You may want to schedule an appointment with a family therapist or child psychologist as well.

On top of this, it’s a good idea to make sure you’re taking the time to talk to your child. Ask what’s wrong and how you can help. Sometimes, that’s the push it takes for your child to speak out about what’s bothering them and how you can try to help them make things better.

Your attorney can give you some guidance on who you can work with to help your child adjust while you’re working through the custody and parenting plans.

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