Coparenting? Don’t let issues destroy the relationship

Flicker, Kerin, Kruger & Bissada LLP

When you and your ex-spouse divorced, you thought that you’d be good at co-parenting. You didn’t talk a lot at the end of your marriage, so you didn’t fight or argue.

The problem is that you’re now starting to see some of that behavior happen. You are both struggling to communicate, and it’s beginning to affect your children. Is this really normal for people in your situation? What can you do?

What are some common co-parenting issues?

  • Arguing or having disputes
  • Using your child or children as messengers
  • Having poor communication with your ex-spouse or partner
  • Having different rules in each household that conflict

It isn’t going to be easy to co-parent, at least not at first. This is a new territory that you and your ex-spouse will need to explore. The above co-parenting issues may be part of the issue. If you’re constantly arguing or don’t have good communication, that’s something that you’ll need to work on. You and your ex-spouse may want to consider going to counseling or using a court-based communication monitoring program to be able to communicate with one another without fights breaking out.

Remember that not being able to communicate with one another isn’t an excuse to use your child to communicate for you. That puts them in the middle, and it isn’t fair. Instead, try options like leaving voicemails, sending letters or emails, text messaging or speaking in person without your child to work out your issues.

If parenting issues do get out of hand, you may want to speak with your attorney about child custody or modifying your parenting plan.

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